Tuesday, October 07, 2003
This is a fun fun page. I learned so many wonderful things from it. For example:
1. Women were designed for homemaking, as Jonathan Goode, Grade 7, proved!
2. Bobbing for apples is EVIL!
3. Evolutionists are wacky!
4. Landover Baptist Church isn't funny at all, despite all appearances saying so! My God-given senses lie to me! Even though they're just trying to make sure good Christian folks like Jerry Falwell are consistant in their beliefs.
And did you know that triclavianism is heresy? Don't know what that means? Well neither does the dictionary. Those wacky Christians! Making up words! Let's see what else we have. "Adiaphora." Nope, not a word. But "salvific" is! I must confess I had never heard of salvation used in an adjectival form. Uhhh, does anyone have any clue on "theologoumenic"? I'll even use it in a sentence for you:
"However, my critics are overlooking the dangers of triclavianistic doctrines: allowing adiaphora to creep into our credenda -- while possibly pushing the theologoumenic envelope and providing exciting new opportunities for supererogative works -- will most often serve to muddy the soteriological foundation of Faith, leading in general to ultramontane excesses and, in extreme cases, ebaptization (which is unacceptable pastoral malpractice, however rare it may be.) "
Of course this requires defining "ebaptization", which is again, not a word, not to mention several other words which you may or may not know. Let's try using "theologoumenic" in a sentence without having to look up even more words. Here we go:
I like using words such as thologoumenic to make me sound important and scholarly when in fact it just might be possible that I am insecure blubbering moron, maybe.
Yeah, that's much better.
Anyway, the whole point of this was to discuss why this fabulous website changed servers. Here's the very legitimate and sensible reason that is based firmly in logic and reason:
"As stated, it was due to our previous host's lack of strong condemnation of triclavianism."
The web host did not condemn triclavianism, which isn't actually anything real, strong enough to suit the good people over at OBJECTIVE. And, pretending for a moment here that triclavianism is actually something and not just a made up fantasy, what do we mean when we say triclavianism? It says "that three, and only three, nails were used to affix our Lord Jesus Christ to the cross. "
Man, what a HUGE DEAL! (note that this is very different from a good deal)
What's really funny is that they acknowledge that that was almost definitely the case and that REAL LIFE evidence points to this conclusion strongly, we cannot assume it. Why? Because "if He remains silent on the issue of the number of nails used in the sacrifice of His only begotten Son, then it is not for us to presume to make it a point of contention. " So if Jesus were to have said in the Bible, "Hey man, you remember that time I died? Yeah, that sucked. But look! I kept all three of the nails they pounded into me! Isn't that badass?" then it'd all be good, even if archeological sources positively proved in the scientific sense of the word that 37 and a half nails were used. Cause you know, the Bible's still perfect, even though it was written two thousand years ago and languages change and it wasn't written in english and it was translated into english through other languages and people edited out parts of it to suit their own political agendas and the fact that it was written by MAN who, like the bible says, is inherantly FLAWED and IMPERFECT there's no way ANYTHING in the Bible could possibly be even a tiniest bit fuzzy on the accurate side of things.
I know man, people who say Jesus was pounded in by three nails are total fucking heretics! They should all be burned and not have any web business! Now let's all pray they see the error of their ways and never associate with the erroneous heretics again, even though that's what Jesus would do because he liked hanging out with the ancient equivalence of the badass biker gangs. He'd totally be tight with Onizuka, man.
Wow.
I cannot even believe I rambled about all that mindless shit for that long.
We've hit a new high here at, um, my website.
...
1. Women were designed for homemaking, as Jonathan Goode, Grade 7, proved!
2. Bobbing for apples is EVIL!
3. Evolutionists are wacky!
4. Landover Baptist Church isn't funny at all, despite all appearances saying so! My God-given senses lie to me! Even though they're just trying to make sure good Christian folks like Jerry Falwell are consistant in their beliefs.
And did you know that triclavianism is heresy? Don't know what that means? Well neither does the dictionary. Those wacky Christians! Making up words! Let's see what else we have. "Adiaphora." Nope, not a word. But "salvific" is! I must confess I had never heard of salvation used in an adjectival form. Uhhh, does anyone have any clue on "theologoumenic"? I'll even use it in a sentence for you:
"However, my critics are overlooking the dangers of triclavianistic doctrines: allowing adiaphora to creep into our credenda -- while possibly pushing the theologoumenic envelope and providing exciting new opportunities for supererogative works -- will most often serve to muddy the soteriological foundation of Faith, leading in general to ultramontane excesses and, in extreme cases, ebaptization (which is unacceptable pastoral malpractice, however rare it may be.) "
Of course this requires defining "ebaptization", which is again, not a word, not to mention several other words which you may or may not know. Let's try using "theologoumenic" in a sentence without having to look up even more words. Here we go:
I like using words such as thologoumenic to make me sound important and scholarly when in fact it just might be possible that I am insecure blubbering moron, maybe.
Yeah, that's much better.
Anyway, the whole point of this was to discuss why this fabulous website changed servers. Here's the very legitimate and sensible reason that is based firmly in logic and reason:
"As stated, it was due to our previous host's lack of strong condemnation of triclavianism."
The web host did not condemn triclavianism, which isn't actually anything real, strong enough to suit the good people over at OBJECTIVE. And, pretending for a moment here that triclavianism is actually something and not just a made up fantasy, what do we mean when we say triclavianism? It says "that three, and only three, nails were used to affix our Lord Jesus Christ to the cross. "
Man, what a HUGE DEAL! (note that this is very different from a good deal)
What's really funny is that they acknowledge that that was almost definitely the case and that REAL LIFE evidence points to this conclusion strongly, we cannot assume it. Why? Because "if He remains silent on the issue of the number of nails used in the sacrifice of His only begotten Son, then it is not for us to presume to make it a point of contention. " So if Jesus were to have said in the Bible, "Hey man, you remember that time I died? Yeah, that sucked. But look! I kept all three of the nails they pounded into me! Isn't that badass?" then it'd all be good, even if archeological sources positively proved in the scientific sense of the word that 37 and a half nails were used. Cause you know, the Bible's still perfect, even though it was written two thousand years ago and languages change and it wasn't written in english and it was translated into english through other languages and people edited out parts of it to suit their own political agendas and the fact that it was written by MAN who, like the bible says, is inherantly FLAWED and IMPERFECT there's no way ANYTHING in the Bible could possibly be even a tiniest bit fuzzy on the accurate side of things.
I know man, people who say Jesus was pounded in by three nails are total fucking heretics! They should all be burned and not have any web business! Now let's all pray they see the error of their ways and never associate with the erroneous heretics again, even though that's what Jesus would do because he liked hanging out with the ancient equivalence of the badass biker gangs. He'd totally be tight with Onizuka, man.
Wow.
I cannot even believe I rambled about all that mindless shit for that long.
We've hit a new high here at, um, my website.
...
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