Sunday, November 02, 2003
Here goes:
Michael Roberts just wanted a girl friend. No, that is not quite right. Michael Roberts just wanted a normal girlfriend. There we go. And Kim was anything but normal. She was really rather frightening sometimes. And what is even more frightening is that she is probably the least frightening of Michael's girlfriends. Well, they are not exactly his girlfriends. Perhaps psycho female stalkers would be a better way to put it. Emphasis on the word "psycho." He would prefer it if they were not out to kill him either. That is generally not a very fun thing, going out on a date with a seemingly nice girl only to find out that she wants to kill you. Ask Michael about that. He would definitely nod his head in agreement and say something along the lines of "yeah that is generally not very fun." Actually, he would probably go running screaming from the room if someone mentioned anyone trying to kill him, particularly a psycho female stalker. That is assuming one could find him in the first place to ask him that. He is not exactly available at the moment, as he is currently in hiding and on the run from said psycho female stalkers. But not that will help him much. He can not exactly hide from them fairly well, but not on any failing on his part, oh no. He was a Boy Scout when he was younger, Eagle Scout actually. He has the sticker on his rear windshield on his truck. Well, had. His truck is not exactly around anymore. Anyway, during the course of his scouting days he became quite good at hiding in the woods and even would have earned the "not able to be found even if someone really wanted to find you" merit badge, assuming there was a "not able to be found even if someone really wanted to find you" merit badge, which there is not. So Michael is very good at hiding and running away from people. It is just that these particular people, the psycho female stalkers, are very, very good at finding people whom they want to find. Particularly if they do not want to be found. To even find Michael Roberts in the first place is quite the accomplishment, as he lives in a small little town that is really not near anything but a whole lot of nothing.
This probably is not making too much sense right now, as these psycho female stalkers have not been introduced nor even had their existence explained. Take Kim for instance. Kim Miller. Though that is not her real name, of course. Her real name is, well, perhaps this is not the right time for that. After all, Michael Roberts has not really even been introduced, and he is vitally important. All that is really known about him is that he wants a normal girlfriend, was a Boy Scout, and is currently running from a bunch of women, one of whom is Kim, who are anything but normal girlfriends. So, more explanation is required.
Michael Roberts.
Nice name, do not you think?
Yeah, it is pretty catchy. That is what his parents thought.
So Michael Roberts is your fairly average every day typical guy. Well, he used to be. Or rather, he thought he used to be.
So Michael Roberts used to think he was your fairly average every day typical guy. He was a fairly average student in high school, getting mostly Cs with the occasional B and D, and every so often and A or an F would squeak onto his report card. He played sports, like most of the guys did, and was okay at them. He was never good enough to be a starter for anything, but decent enough to get second or third string for whatever sport he was playing at the time. Mostly football (he was not really any one position, playing both defense and offense), but he played a season of baseball (he was a pinch hitter, not being good enough at anything else to play in the field for any real period of time, but decent enough at hitting to come in when needed) and a season or two of basketball (he was a small forward, not big enough to play too much in the paint but not good enough at shooting or ball control to be anything else). He liked beer and red meat, had subscriptions to Sports Illustrated and Playboy, enjoyed porn and poker, knew enough about the world to know he did not care about anything outside of his country and not all that much in it to tell the truth. He could name the president and a senator or two, but had no idea who the head of the Environmental Protection Agency was. He voted every now and then, but generally only for the important elections. Sensing a pattern here? He had a job as an air conditioning and heating unit repair man, making enough money to get by plus a little extra, but not too much. He was of average height and weight, had brown hair and brown eyes. He drove a faded red 95 Chevy, but it got him where he needed to go. He had had a few girlfriends in high school and after, but none of them led to anything that was really serious. He was twenty six. He was your fairly average every day typical guy, and he liked it that way.
Too bad it was all going to change.
Day one, a day behind.
Wow it sucks.
Michael Roberts just wanted a girl friend. No, that is not quite right. Michael Roberts just wanted a normal girlfriend. There we go. And Kim was anything but normal. She was really rather frightening sometimes. And what is even more frightening is that she is probably the least frightening of Michael's girlfriends. Well, they are not exactly his girlfriends. Perhaps psycho female stalkers would be a better way to put it. Emphasis on the word "psycho." He would prefer it if they were not out to kill him either. That is generally not a very fun thing, going out on a date with a seemingly nice girl only to find out that she wants to kill you. Ask Michael about that. He would definitely nod his head in agreement and say something along the lines of "yeah that is generally not very fun." Actually, he would probably go running screaming from the room if someone mentioned anyone trying to kill him, particularly a psycho female stalker. That is assuming one could find him in the first place to ask him that. He is not exactly available at the moment, as he is currently in hiding and on the run from said psycho female stalkers. But not that will help him much. He can not exactly hide from them fairly well, but not on any failing on his part, oh no. He was a Boy Scout when he was younger, Eagle Scout actually. He has the sticker on his rear windshield on his truck. Well, had. His truck is not exactly around anymore. Anyway, during the course of his scouting days he became quite good at hiding in the woods and even would have earned the "not able to be found even if someone really wanted to find you" merit badge, assuming there was a "not able to be found even if someone really wanted to find you" merit badge, which there is not. So Michael is very good at hiding and running away from people. It is just that these particular people, the psycho female stalkers, are very, very good at finding people whom they want to find. Particularly if they do not want to be found. To even find Michael Roberts in the first place is quite the accomplishment, as he lives in a small little town that is really not near anything but a whole lot of nothing.
This probably is not making too much sense right now, as these psycho female stalkers have not been introduced nor even had their existence explained. Take Kim for instance. Kim Miller. Though that is not her real name, of course. Her real name is, well, perhaps this is not the right time for that. After all, Michael Roberts has not really even been introduced, and he is vitally important. All that is really known about him is that he wants a normal girlfriend, was a Boy Scout, and is currently running from a bunch of women, one of whom is Kim, who are anything but normal girlfriends. So, more explanation is required.
Michael Roberts.
Nice name, do not you think?
Yeah, it is pretty catchy. That is what his parents thought.
So Michael Roberts is your fairly average every day typical guy. Well, he used to be. Or rather, he thought he used to be.
So Michael Roberts used to think he was your fairly average every day typical guy. He was a fairly average student in high school, getting mostly Cs with the occasional B and D, and every so often and A or an F would squeak onto his report card. He played sports, like most of the guys did, and was okay at them. He was never good enough to be a starter for anything, but decent enough to get second or third string for whatever sport he was playing at the time. Mostly football (he was not really any one position, playing both defense and offense), but he played a season of baseball (he was a pinch hitter, not being good enough at anything else to play in the field for any real period of time, but decent enough at hitting to come in when needed) and a season or two of basketball (he was a small forward, not big enough to play too much in the paint but not good enough at shooting or ball control to be anything else). He liked beer and red meat, had subscriptions to Sports Illustrated and Playboy, enjoyed porn and poker, knew enough about the world to know he did not care about anything outside of his country and not all that much in it to tell the truth. He could name the president and a senator or two, but had no idea who the head of the Environmental Protection Agency was. He voted every now and then, but generally only for the important elections. Sensing a pattern here? He had a job as an air conditioning and heating unit repair man, making enough money to get by plus a little extra, but not too much. He was of average height and weight, had brown hair and brown eyes. He drove a faded red 95 Chevy, but it got him where he needed to go. He had had a few girlfriends in high school and after, but none of them led to anything that was really serious. He was twenty six. He was your fairly average every day typical guy, and he liked it that way.
Too bad it was all going to change.
Day one, a day behind.
Wow it sucks.
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