Friday, November 14, 2003
Wrote some last night, only about 1000 words. Need to get my ass in gear. Don't really know where this is going anymore, at least for the moment. Probably because I was feeling all serious and gloomy after reading Jason's submission because it is all serious and stuff. So I wasn't exactly in the kind of mood the writing I am doing right now requires. I just wish I could actually write dialogue. Anyway, last night's minimal effort:
Alright, so what is everyone thinking right now? Something dark and sinister has started to come into Rick’s life, but what is it? And why doesn’t he remember it? And what will Michael do when he finds out? And is Mephistopheles one of those cute cats, or just kind of scary? All this, and more, will be revealed in next month’s issue of…wait, no. That’s not right at all. There aren’t any issues, really. Just…uh, you know…stuff. And…things.
Groovy.
It is just before six thirty in a really clean apartment. An alarm clock is about to go off. MEHH! MEHH! And there it goes! MEHH! MEHH! Oh wait, no. That is the wrong apartment. And the wrong time. It is just before seven in a really rather messy apartment. An alarm clock is about to go off. Click.
“Are you serious, Chuck?”
“Yes I am, Larry, yes I am! Today will be totally cloud free and a nice scorching ninety degrees today! No cool breeze for any of us!”
“Alright, and now to Gale to look at the traf…” The voice was abruptly silent. That is because a hand slammed on to the snooze button. But the owner of this hand, who really needs to trim his fingernails, did not go back to sleep, but got up, turned off the alarm, and yawned. Michael Roberts did his usual morning routine. He ate the same…
What? Yes, yesterday was supposed to be normal, but it was not. It was so amazingly not normal that…
Say again?
What?? Of course everything changed! Come on, it is not that hard to figure out what was so monumental about yesterday in Michael Roberts’ life.
Yes, Gloria, but she is only part of it. And not in the way one might think.
Uh huh, Rick’s little situation is definitely the beginnings of drama and angst.
Yes, it will all make sense later. And all will be revealed.
No, it will not be revealed now. It will be revealed later.
Can the story just continue? Shut up. The story needs to be told!
Okay, now that everyone is at least partially satisfied with the build up of drama in a thoroughly crappy way, on to the magnificent second day of the story. Or something. Yes, that phrase will be used continuously throughout this work, as it is the author’s intention to cause the reader to have some doubts about the validity of the voice acting as narrator and to make it seem like said voice does not know what it is doing, even though it clearly does. And he also thinks it is a funny word. Or rather, he thinks that something is a funny word. It is not as funny as something, though it does have its own peculiar characteristics that make it rather popular at cocktail parties.
Michael Roberts went to work with absolutely nothing remarkable or eventful happening.
Until he got to work.
Or rather, absolutely nothing remarkable or eventful happened until about fifteen minutes after he got to work.
Well, it was not so much that something remarkable or eventful happened just then, it is just that Michael Roberts noticed something at that point in time which he considered to be rather remarkable and eventful.
What is really funny about this whole situation, aside from the fact that this is a blatantly obvious attempt at getting more words in to a novel that is remarkably light on substance to the point where one could refer to it as “substance-lite’, reads great, less filling!, is that this thing that is so remarkable and eventful that he is noticing is actually empty space.
How remarkable!
How eventful!
Rick was not at work.
How curious.
Rick had been drinking pretty heavily last night, and it was not just because of all of his toastings to Michael. Speaking of which, he cleaned up! But more about that in a minute. Back to Rick. Rick got very very drunk last night and was only able to get home by himself because he lives in the same apartment complex. And he was really drunk. Really drunk.
So Mike cleaned up. He won over a hundred last night. One hundred dollars! Him! Every hand, he won. Vegas thought he had him when he pulled out the straight flush to the eight, and rightfully so, but Mikey, man, he had a straight flush to the jack. Who does that? Answer: nobody. So one can understand why Michael is in a great mood this morning, and very much looking forward to treating everyone to a round tonight. The first time since they started this little game.
Hoping Rick was okay, he picked up the phone and gave him a ring.
No answer.
Rick was not answering his phone.
Hmm, wonder what he is doing right now….any guesses?
Thinking he was either sleeping off a very bad hangover or already on his way here, Mike began to focus on his work. When Fred showed up, which was a great shock to the entire world, as it was a Friday of all days, Mike said Rick was out on a call. Of course Fred was not there to work, he had just left the keys to his boat in his office. Why he actually had the keys in the office is anyone’s guess, as they were not attached to anything that one would expect to find in his office.
Lunch came around and there was still no sign of Rick. Michael would have liked to have driven over to see if he was alright but he was swamped with work, partially because it was so hot outside and also due to the fact that Rick was not here to work. In fact, he was so busy that he was totally surprised when he glanced at the clock and saw it was five thirty seven, way past time to be out of there. He got his things together and left work.
Alright, so what is everyone thinking right now? Something dark and sinister has started to come into Rick’s life, but what is it? And why doesn’t he remember it? And what will Michael do when he finds out? And is Mephistopheles one of those cute cats, or just kind of scary? All this, and more, will be revealed in next month’s issue of…wait, no. That’s not right at all. There aren’t any issues, really. Just…uh, you know…stuff. And…things.
Groovy.
It is just before six thirty in a really clean apartment. An alarm clock is about to go off. MEHH! MEHH! And there it goes! MEHH! MEHH! Oh wait, no. That is the wrong apartment. And the wrong time. It is just before seven in a really rather messy apartment. An alarm clock is about to go off. Click.
“Are you serious, Chuck?”
“Yes I am, Larry, yes I am! Today will be totally cloud free and a nice scorching ninety degrees today! No cool breeze for any of us!”
“Alright, and now to Gale to look at the traf…” The voice was abruptly silent. That is because a hand slammed on to the snooze button. But the owner of this hand, who really needs to trim his fingernails, did not go back to sleep, but got up, turned off the alarm, and yawned. Michael Roberts did his usual morning routine. He ate the same…
What? Yes, yesterday was supposed to be normal, but it was not. It was so amazingly not normal that…
Say again?
What?? Of course everything changed! Come on, it is not that hard to figure out what was so monumental about yesterday in Michael Roberts’ life.
Yes, Gloria, but she is only part of it. And not in the way one might think.
Uh huh, Rick’s little situation is definitely the beginnings of drama and angst.
Yes, it will all make sense later. And all will be revealed.
No, it will not be revealed now. It will be revealed later.
Can the story just continue? Shut up. The story needs to be told!
Okay, now that everyone is at least partially satisfied with the build up of drama in a thoroughly crappy way, on to the magnificent second day of the story. Or something. Yes, that phrase will be used continuously throughout this work, as it is the author’s intention to cause the reader to have some doubts about the validity of the voice acting as narrator and to make it seem like said voice does not know what it is doing, even though it clearly does. And he also thinks it is a funny word. Or rather, he thinks that something is a funny word. It is not as funny as something, though it does have its own peculiar characteristics that make it rather popular at cocktail parties.
Michael Roberts went to work with absolutely nothing remarkable or eventful happening.
Until he got to work.
Or rather, absolutely nothing remarkable or eventful happened until about fifteen minutes after he got to work.
Well, it was not so much that something remarkable or eventful happened just then, it is just that Michael Roberts noticed something at that point in time which he considered to be rather remarkable and eventful.
What is really funny about this whole situation, aside from the fact that this is a blatantly obvious attempt at getting more words in to a novel that is remarkably light on substance to the point where one could refer to it as “substance-lite’, reads great, less filling!, is that this thing that is so remarkable and eventful that he is noticing is actually empty space.
How remarkable!
How eventful!
Rick was not at work.
How curious.
Rick had been drinking pretty heavily last night, and it was not just because of all of his toastings to Michael. Speaking of which, he cleaned up! But more about that in a minute. Back to Rick. Rick got very very drunk last night and was only able to get home by himself because he lives in the same apartment complex. And he was really drunk. Really drunk.
So Mike cleaned up. He won over a hundred last night. One hundred dollars! Him! Every hand, he won. Vegas thought he had him when he pulled out the straight flush to the eight, and rightfully so, but Mikey, man, he had a straight flush to the jack. Who does that? Answer: nobody. So one can understand why Michael is in a great mood this morning, and very much looking forward to treating everyone to a round tonight. The first time since they started this little game.
Hoping Rick was okay, he picked up the phone and gave him a ring.
No answer.
Rick was not answering his phone.
Hmm, wonder what he is doing right now….any guesses?
Thinking he was either sleeping off a very bad hangover or already on his way here, Mike began to focus on his work. When Fred showed up, which was a great shock to the entire world, as it was a Friday of all days, Mike said Rick was out on a call. Of course Fred was not there to work, he had just left the keys to his boat in his office. Why he actually had the keys in the office is anyone’s guess, as they were not attached to anything that one would expect to find in his office.
Lunch came around and there was still no sign of Rick. Michael would have liked to have driven over to see if he was alright but he was swamped with work, partially because it was so hot outside and also due to the fact that Rick was not here to work. In fact, he was so busy that he was totally surprised when he glanced at the clock and saw it was five thirty seven, way past time to be out of there. He got his things together and left work.
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